At 21-weeks pregnant, we are now officially closer to the end than to the beginning! As my belly expands week by week, strangers are starting to acknowledge that I'm pregnant--which, without fail, brings a smile to my face. Up until recently, it wasn't that way. At 19 weeks pregnant, although I forgot to mention it, mom and I hung out with some neighbors at a block party. A few folks knewI was pregnant because mom chats with them often, but others didn't. So upon seeing me and hearing the news, many of them laughed that I did not appear pregnant, much less halfway through my pregnancy! I still get the "Oh, are you pregnant?" and "Your belly looks like my post-Thanksgiving-dinner belly!" comments every so often.
However yesterday, mom took me to the Pasadena Bead & Design Show, and few brave folks ventured to guess I might be pregnant! And at breakfast this morning, we were seated next to a couple and overheard the girl tell her boyfriend in Spanish, "That girl sitting near you is pregnant." Side-note: It's hilarious to be on this side of the fence, so to speak, where I get to watch others try to figure out if they should ask if I'm pregnant or not---I could just be oddly bloated, I suppose. But once that bridge is crossed, it's fun to talk about the baby and hear other people's experiences.
Update on Trevor: Trevor's First Night Off!
You guys are incredible! Thank you for your continuous prayers--God is so good! Trevor's supervisor took over the shop much sooner than anticipated and so he was granted one day off last week and it couldn't have come any sooner! Trevor spent the night hanging out with friends at the outdoor bar venue (where bands sometimes perform) and catching up on some much needed sleep. As mentioned, he's been struggling with sleep as he's been working 12-hour shifts since landing in Saudi Arabia a few weeks back. He picked up a movie from the library and skyped with me while he watched the Corgi races (haha, Lena!) on TV. Seeing him smile has brought me so much joy! It's as if a weight has been lifted now that he's finally acclimating to his new location. He's back to his funny, joking-self again and I am so very thankful to God.. and to all of you for praying for us!
Smiling while watching the Corgi races.
23 July 2017: Deployment Goal #25 ✅ + Sharing 20-Week Milestone with FB Friends!
So after posting the blog last Sunday, Katie and I hiked Del Cerro Park up in Racho Palos Verdes! Beautiful view!
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29 July 2017: Mailed Off Trevor's First Care Package!
I sent off his first letter on Tuesday, and his care package made it to the post office on Saturday, which won't be in time for his birthday but oh well. It'll get there soon enough.
✌️-out Trevie-Letter #1
For his first care package, I chose a birthday-theme in honor of his 31st birthday on Tuesday and it comes complete with a red velvet birthday-cake-in-a-jar! He mentioned he would like more underwear, so I substituted a fresh pack of undies as an alternative to packing supplies around the jar and other items. When I asked him what type of underwear he wanted, he jokingly responded "anything with cartoons" so he got a pair of those as well! ;) Anyone else love the show Hey Arnold!?
Along with the cake, I packed a small tub of cream cheese frosting, coffee, Biscoffs, See's Candie's chocolate lollipops, peanut brittle and toffee-ettes. I threw in a bag of trail mix, beef jerky, fruit snacks, and three cards; two for his birthday and one for our 12-year dating anniversary on the 3rd. Side-note: Twelve years ago, we had our first date on his birthday but he chose not to mention it that evening. Two days later he asked me to be his girlfriend. :)
Homemade Red Velvet Cake-in-a-Jar!
Packing 'er up!
Yes, the baby gave Trevor a card, haha. I transcribed for him ;)
Almost-finished product! After I took the pictures, I added more balloons and put another bow on the box.
30 July 2017: California Cactus Center + Pasadena Bead Show Pictures
Mom 💜's her cacti!
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Reminders of Trev everywhere.
Waving at the camera again, haha...
Week 21 Photos
Week 21 Updates
1. Size of the baby? Baby weighs about three quarters of a pound and is approximately 10.5" long, about the length of a carrot!
2. What's developing this week?
3. Current weight?135. Up one pound from last week.
4. Movement? Absolutely! David is active a lot, especially after I eat and when I lay down. I usually feel a lot of pressure on the lower left side of my pelvic area.
5. Sleep? Laying on my back hurts now and I'm stuck sleeping on my side.
6. Symptoms?
Less athletic ability; harder time hiking and walking for long stretches of time.
Extremely tired the day after an exercise day.
Heartburn (not all the time).
Occasional lower back pain.
Round ligament pain on Tuesday.
Mom commented my boobs look much bigger. 😂
Overall, feeling good and in good spirits. Think I could handle at least two more pregnancies.
7. Cravings and Aversions? Meeh, nope to both.
8. Best moment this week? Spending time with my mom this weekend. :)
9. Prayer requests? Please pray:
That Trevor would stay vested in the deployment goals he set for himself and that I would do the same regarding mine.
That, if it be His will, God would provide a remote job for me through Military One Source (or any other military assistance programs).
10. What are you looking forward to for next week? Appointment with Dr. Friedman on Trevie's birthday on Tuesday.
Maybe. Unless I go past 40-weeks or perhaps I've already passed the half-way point of this pregnancy? Only time will tell!
So far, this pregnancy has been pretty enjoyable, especially since stepping into the 2nd trimester. And to think, just eight more weeks until we reach the 3rd trimester! All of this is going by fast!
It's been a month since moving in with my mom (and brother) and, at times, it's been a bit challenging for me. My brother's nocturnal, so I find it difficult to cook and clean for myself without disturbing him. He also requires a ton of communication, even for the simplest of tasks which I'm simply not used to anymore. I'm very independent and I'm struggling to conform to their methods of handling things.
For those asking, yes, I do miss Colorado but more so I miss living alone. At times I catch myself daydreaming of Trevor's return and our future move to wherever we shall live next. We've discussed the idea of him switching from Guard to Active Duty, so that's an option we'll have to continue to consider. Otherwise, I simply envision us moving back to Colorado and picking up where we left off, so to speak. Only now we'll have a little baby along for the ride.
Although it's helpful to contemplate these options, I find that I have to stop myself from thinking about it too much. In the face of a problematic situation, I tend to be a quick problem-solver; however, God is calling me to rest in His stillness and rely on Him. Trust in Him and seek Him first before all else. So that's where I'm at now and it's a bit uncomfortable, not gonna lie. Ultimately though, God's glory will shine through and we'll be wherever we need to be.
Moving forward, I've rewritten my list of goals to accomplish during Trevor's deployment. I started writing a list prior to the pregnancy, but I've adapted (and lessened) it so that I can spend more energy and effort towards preparing for David's arrival. When Trevor comes home I'll evaluate which goals were met by crossing them off so we can see how well I did, haha. While there's only 25 items on the list, many of them will take the entire length of the deployment to complete. You'll find a combination of easy-peasy, complete-in-a-day kind-of goals, and a few others that require more of an investment. So here goes!
Deployment Bucket List
Drink ≥ 60 ounces of water/day. Preferably 75oz+ during summertime.
Exercise ≥ 3x/week.
Spend ≥ 17 minutes studying God's word each day.
Study Spanish: Complete all 3 Spanish workbooks (Levels I, II & III) before baby arrives (≈ 4 months).
Take a calligraphy class.
Read: The Bible in 4 months.
Read: Not A Fan by Kyle Idleman
Read: None LikeHim by Jen Wilkin
Read: Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer
Read: Present Over Perfect by Shauna Niequist
Read: Love & Respect by Emerson Eggerichs
Read: Heaven by Randy Alcorn
Blog weekly.
Take pictures weekly (baby bump → baby).
Learn to meal plan effectively.
Send Trevor a care package at least once/month.
Make something homemade for Trevor once/month.
Earn certification.
Join a church family.
Travel somewhere.
Volunteer.
Start a home-buying fund.
Create something for baby's nursery.
Participate in a 5k.
Hike somewhere new.
My original list was 50-items long, but I decided to go a bit easy on myself since I'm pregnant (Excuses, excuses! 😜). Nonetheless, I feel it's a good start to get me going! I should mention, I am also currently reading What To Expect When Expecting by Heidi Murkoff and Sharon Mazel (because duh) and Supernatural Childbirth by Jackie Mize.
Are any of the books I mentioned on your must-read list? If you're interested in reading any of these alongside me, send me a message! I would love to discuss each chapter with you! I'm not the type of person who reads to relax; I read to learn and grow as a person so if you're the same way then... let's do this thang!
17 July 2017: Lots of Fetal Movement Lately!
Trevor's travels abroad the last few days brought on a bit of anxiety for me. Perhaps the baby could sense it because he has been so active! Not everyone has had luck seeing the kicks from my videos but hopefully you can.
Did you spot the kick? Look here around 5 seconds into the video:
19 July 2017: 20-Week Anatomy Scan
Mom joined me for the baby's 20-week anatomy scan which was performed at 19w3d. David looks great and is still measuring a few days ahead. At about 19.5 weeks pregnant, baby boy was measuring 20 weeks along, so things are looking great! Big healthy boy.
This is the appointment where folks traditionally learn of their baby's gender, but as you know, we found out at 13 weeks via DNA testing. In all honesty, 99.6% accuracy should be enough to convince me I'm having a little boy but I gotta admit, I wanted to see his boy-parts for myself to confirm. What can I say? Seeing is believing, haha!
Only thing is, my son is a bit modest like his momma and he hid the goods from us. Either that or he's ultra-relaxed like his daddy and can't be bothered to move. The latter seems more likely because he even lays like Trevor does with his hand above his head.
Every once in awhile you can see his sac but the cord is blocking a clear view of his penis. Hopefully we'll get a better glance at things during the next ultrasound appointment, whenever that is.
Updates on Trevor: Trevor's Travels!
Due to operation security, it's difficult for me to share all of the details of Trevor's travels with y'all, even though I would like to. Unfortunately, I cannot share dates and times and that remains true until after he returns home. Just know that he's arrived safely in Saudi Arabia and he's doing well! He's tired as heck from working 12-hour shifts everyday (he won't have a day off for another 2-3 weeks), and is having trouble sleeping in fear of missing his alarm. He works the graveyard shift which kind of works out for us. He says the humid heat is so great that it's like constantly being in a sauna so by working at night he's not in direct sunlight, although he complains it's still hot as hell.
Another perk to the night-shift is that we're awake at the same time once again, haha! Saudi Arabia is 10 hours ahead of California and so with him working overnights we will get a chance to chat often, so we're giving thanks for his current schedule. He plans on getting internet on his phone so perhaps we'll be able to connect more throughout the day/his night.
While still in The States, Trevor had a layover in Virginia and spent some time with a good friend of mine from high school! It worked out that Dave had the day off and was able to show Trevor around Norfolk and take him on his jetski! Lucky duck. Dave, we will definitely be visiting you and Mel sometime in the future, okay? Trevor can hold the baby while I take a spin on the jetski! 😂
Thanks for the photos, buuuuuuuuuddy! And Mel :) So happy to see you all together!
He arrived in Germany before SA, but he was a little bummed he couldn't spend more time exploring the country. In fact, a few years ago he dabbled in German just because he liked the sound of the language. Maybe one day we'll head back there together... and hopefully by then he learns enough to get us around.
I can't be held accountable for the angle of this video as he called around 4am!
Here's Trevor's mailing address if you're interested in sending my honey a card, letter or care package:
A1C Trevor A. Coles
379 ECES CEOFP
Unit 61205
APO AE 09309-1205
He's anticipating a promotion around October but until then this is his correct mailing address. Thanks in advanced to anyone willing to send him a little pick-me-up while he's far away from home!
Week 20 Photos
Banana turned brown while we stored it in our grocery bag...
Representin' Baby Coles in Saudi Arabia!
My sweet mommy stepping in for these shots!
Week 20 Updates
1. Size of the baby? David is about 10 inches from head to heel, about the size of a banana!
2. What's developing this week?
3. Current weight?134, up 2 lbs from last week. Total gained so far: 17 pounds.
4. Movement? Yes, he's kicking often and sometimes pressing on a nerve.
5. Sleep? No complaints.
6. Symptoms?
While looking at my belly, occasionally I can visibly see baby kicking.
Occasional painful pressure from baby; mostly on left side.
Still mostly active at night when I'm laying on my back.
Foot cramps.
TMI: Sometimes I pee a little when I sneeze! Yeeeeeeeah... #truestory.
Some nights it hurts to sleep on my side. Need to invest in some sort of pregnancy pillow soon! I'm thinking preferably wedge-like. This belly needs more support.
To combat itchy skin, I've started using creams and oils every day (usually morning and night) and exfoliating every other day-ish.
7. Cravings and Aversions? Nothing new.
8. Best moment this week? 20-week scan and hearing that baby is healthy and doing well!
9. Prayer requests? Please pray:
That God would provide restful sleep for Trevor and that Trevor would take care of himself (drink enough water, eat well, etc) while he's there.
For Trevor's transition into full-time AF life while living in Saudi Arabia. That God would provide important friendships for him that would strengthen his relationship with Jesus and that Trevor could have fun with while he's out there!
That God would lead me to find a good home church while I'm here in SoCal. Pray that God would speak to me and that I would be focused on (and open to) receiving God's will for every aspect of my life.
And lastly, that I wouldn't feel encumbered by my new living situation as I need to take care of myself and my baby. And that God would continue to assist in the transition for me (as He already has!) and help me communicate better with my family.
10. What are you looking forward to for next week? Spending time with friends and starting my goals!
"There's only one thing more precious than time and that's who we spend it on."
-Leo Christopher
June 2016 brought news of Trevor's deployment. We were crushed. The Wing Commander held a meeting to read aloud all the names of those who would be deploying just a short year later. Then his name was called, just then his heart sank into his belly and he felt sick.
He waited until we were together to tell me, although I could tell something was wrong. Hearing him sharing the news brought on such confusion for me, "But I thought deployments were mostly voluntary with the Guard? I thought they take volunteers first?" Not this time. His name had been approved by the Secretary of Defense. There was no fighting it. He. Was. Going.
In the beginning it was as if an hourglass was placed in front of us. With each passing day we're watching a grain of sand shift from one portion to the next, symbolizing our time is running out. The weeks leading up to his flight were torturous and although we were together, the time was still passing by; Hour by hour, minute by minute.
It's in these moments when one realizes how much is taken for granted. Seeing him (mostly) every day for the past twelve years suddenly felt like the blink of an eye. Suddenly I felt short-changed, as if betrayed or someone stole something irreplaceable from me. And isn't this true of time? It passes regardless of circumstance. Regardless of us.
And so I spent the last year contemplating us. In just a few short years I'll have spent half of my life with this person who I would want in my life even if I wasn't his wife. Who, although he is my lover, is above-all-else my friend. Who extends grace daily. Who truly loves unconditionally. The thought of missing out on his bear hugs when I need it most cuts me deeply. The thought of him never returning is a hurt so heavy that my mind cannot begin to fathom it.
But it's simply time for now. And time will pass. And for the hurting hearts left behind when loved ones deploy, it's complicated. If time passes by quickly, we'll be reunited sooner. But time is still life.Still, regardless of any of this, time will pass as it always does. Hour by hour, minute by minute.
10 July 2017: The Extra Hour
Monday started off a bit somber, as to be expected. My first thought upon waking was, "Today's the day..." Trevor still lay asleep beside me and when he awoke he must have had the same daunting realization. As he came to he took a deep sigh and I just held him.
We laid in bed together for a bit before he brought me a quick breakfast--which he began doing early on in the pregnancy when my morning nausea was at its worst. It became routine and I wondered to myself how I would manage without him. Then a peace washes over me: God will provide. It's as if I'm telling this to myself but yet it's more convincing. Must be the Holy Spirit, I rationalize.
He begins scrambling around the house to complete any task before him. He cleans the litter boxes. Puts in a load of laundry. Folds the towels that were in the dryer. Takes out the trash and cleans my mom's backyard. I look around at all he has helped me with and I begin to feel overwhelmed in anticipating the weight of taking it all on myself, plus a newborn baby. God will provide, I remember. "Okay," I say in my mind; as if to give-in. "I can handle this."
My mom, Trevor and I made plans the night before to swing by Norm's on the way to LAX for breakfast. As mom's running late to return home from an appointment Trevor and I make love.
At breakfast Trevor leads the three of us in prayer. He prays for his safety, his spiritual journey while deployed and his safe return home. He prays that we (mom and I) would enjoy our time spent together and be fruitful with it, and he prays the same for himself. Mom cries a bit, which beckons me to tear up with her. Trevor, although sad, has not yet cried over this deployment.
We head back home for a bit to ensure Trevor packed all of his belongings. I find him standing in my room and I melt into his embrace. I'm going to miss this so much, I think to myself. But trustingly, I surrender. God. Will. Provide.
As I walk out to join my mom and Trevor awaiting me in the car I'm greeted by a look of exuberance on Trevor's face. "I just got a text! My flight has been delayed, we have an extra hour!" Mom encourages us to go back inside and spend the hour alone as she agrees to wait in the car.
We hurried back inside, kicked off our shoes and laid down on our bed. He holds me as his arm supports the back of my head. We rest, talk and laugh together, as if the day was no different than any other. With the gift of an extra hour together, I feel God rebuild my strength. God is providing already.
As I check the clock I see the time has slipped away. Only five minutes left until we ought to rejoin my mom in the car. He rubs my belly gently, kisses it once more and tells David he's excited to see him soon. Tells him to take care of mommy and then gives me a wink and a kiss.
Before we leave I see Trevor's Indiana Jones hat sitting on the couch. Selfishly, I had convinced him not to take it in case he were to lose or damage it. I pick it up and hand it to him, "You need to take this with you," I convey. He smiles and places it on top of his head, now ready to leave.
As Trevor loads up the car, mom tells Trevor she will display the American flag in front of her house until he returns home.
On the drive to the airport I give thanks to the Lord for the extra hour. For the precious gift of time. It was much needed (isn't it always?) and I would have been lost without it. In that moment I wish to myself that I will always live in the extra-hour phase, so-to-speak. That I would never again take for granted the gift of time.
As we approach the airport I can sense Trevor's compounding stress. He fidgets in his seat and softly sighs occasionally. He expresses he's sad to leave and doesn't want to go. Shares with us that it's an unusual feeling to be living out this moment as if he's another person watching himself going through the motions. "It's like I'm in a movie and I'm watching myself do all of this. Like, this isn't my life," he explores.
We get out of the car and I take a few pictures of him standing with his bags, as I did when he left for basic military training. We ask a passerby to take our picture to which she graciously agrees.
We kiss, hug then kiss once more.
He calls me from inside the airport to say he got his ticket and saw us drive away. 11 July 2017: First Appointment with Dr. Friedman + 3rd Ultrasound
At first I wasn't sure how I would feel the day after Trevor's departure. The therapist in me figured I would need time to rest but being busy has been a blessing for now. Mom took the day off to join me for the appointment. Not that I have many choices of doctors-who-accept-tricare-and-deliver-at-LCOM because there's only just the one, but her opinion of him still matters to me.
My new OBGYN is a former Navy Officer and, although he's 74-years old, he's very sharp. He didn't ask me a lot of questions, but it became clear this was because he actually read my chart. What I like most about him is his devotion to Trevor, who he may never even meet. He's aware that we're a military family and Trevor's deployed overseas so he offered to perform an ultrasound on me just so I could film it and send him a little pick-me-up. "It's bad enough guys are over there having to worry about themselves, they shouldn't have to worry about loved ones back home!"
It's obvious he's not properly trained in manning the machine but he does his best to show us what he can. My mom was in heaven--she loved every second of it!
She thought I was still filming, haha
Another benefit of working with Dr. Friedman is he's well-versed in Tricare. He's been working with Tricare since his practice began and he knows what will be approved and denied, which is reassuring. So far he has gained a lot of my trust. And, as mentioned in the last post, he agreed to let me skype and film the birth so fingers crossed that I get to do that for Trevie. He did mention that he only works the traditional 9-5, so there is a chance another doctor could deliver David. Also, he won't be performing the circumcision as he leaves that up for the younger doctors to complete.
My mom likes him a lot and I'm grateful for his heart for Trevor. He didn't have to attempt an ultrasound but he chose to give up a bit of his lunchtime to do so. So far, I'm happy with him.
16 July 2017: Little Company of Mary Hospital Tour + A Night Out with Friends + Thank-Yous
The 2-hour informational session and tour of the hospital went well! As a new mom, there's so much I need to learn and decide on so this event helped me to gather a lot of information all at once. Mom and Anna came as well and I was grateful for their presence. Little Company of Mary is undoubtedly a fantastic hospital and I consider myself lucky to be able to birth there.
Notable Mentions:
There's a bluetooth monitoring device for walking around the hospital during labor; in connection with a "walking epidural."
Torrance PD offers free car seat checks to ensure baby will be safely secure while driving.
Lots of alternative pain-reliever methods are offered and encouraged.
Hospital has impressive security measures--Only visitors on a list
are allowed into postpartum room, beeper on baby's leg/foot will give
warning alarms when near an exit, and will signal hospital alarms to go
off if monitor gets too close to an exit.
Sunday night a group of friends and I went out for dinner at Lazy Dog Restaurant--we had a blast catching up! One of my friends announced she's expecting as well (and *ahem* she reads this blog so I have to give her a shout out! ;)), but she'll remain nameless until she announces publicly! So very excited for you, friend! She gifted baby David a book that will for sure become a keepsake in our house. Might not even let him read it, haha. Might just put it on a shelf to display it forever! ;)
After dinner the two preggos went out for Handel's Ice Cream! We got to chat for awhile and I loved spending time with her one-on-one. And it's fair to mention... we each got four scoops of ice cream, haha! No regrets, baby!
Also, my Brookie Cookie sent me a package all the way from Idaho! She sent an Ergo baby carrier, maternity pants and a dress and Norwegian chocolate! The chocolate lasted all of two days--granted, it would have been gone in one day but I promised to share with mom, haha. I plan on using the Ergo with David a lot when he gets here! Thanks Bestie!
Honestly, I'm so grateful for the support, advice, gifts and hand-me-downs! Ashley went through my nephew Zac's clothes and all of her maternity stuff and gave me a huge bag of goodies to try out. Thank you Ashie Ash! I'm so excited to put a little baby in those clothes! Week 19 Photos
Week 19 Updates
1. Size of the baby? About 6 inches long and weighs about 8.5 ounces, about the size of a mango!
2. What's developing this week?
3. Current weight?132. No weight-gain this week.
4. Movement? Yes, little kicks and jabs. Sometimes I can feel him shift from one side to the next.
5. Sleep? No change.
6. Symptoms?
Round ligament pain.
Boobs are hurting again.
Lower-pelvic pressure. Feels as though he's pushing down on a nerve from time to time.
A bit of itchy skin on lower belly.
7. Cravings and Aversions? Tomatoes and sweets, y'all.
8. Best moment this week? The extra hour.
9. Prayer requests? Please pray for Trevor's travels again, very important.
10. What are you looking forward to for next week? 20-week anatomy scan on the 19th!
