As other military couples know, being separated for long stretches of time thrusts your relationship into change. For us, it's not a bad change, but more so our interactions are morphing to adapt to our new situation. But I have to say, there's a learning curve to taking on a long-distance relationship when we've developed our marriage over the course of 12-years spent together.
At times it seems as if the old adage is true, "You can't teach an old dog new tricks" with regards to a marriage; to a relationship. We both have our set-in-stone tenancies that require a major overhaul. This is where God steps in. By His grace, He's showing me who I am with every interaction I have with my husband. And it's not always a pretty sight. Every morning I pray that the habits I exhibit which do not reflect the Lord's love would die and that He would rebuild me into becoming the wife that Trevor needs and wants, not the wife that I think I ought to be.
There's beauty in the rebirth of ourselves when we trust in God's abilities to do so. It's messy, uncomfortable and albeit painful during the process of shifting reliance from our own understanding to God's will; thus allowing Him to work in our hearts and reveal to us who He created us to be. To provide space for Him to show us how to treat our spouse, our children, our parents and our neighbors.
During the six months Trevor spent away for training, God walked me through this idea a bit. It felt like, at the time, that we were just getting started and submitting to God's will for my marriage was coming soon. And the journey was not going to be easy. I knew He had a plan for developing me into a better wife and preparing me for motherhood. Who I'm going to be as a mother involves who I am as a wife. After all, our children will experience how Trevor and I treat each other and our interactions as parents, partners, lovers and friends. And as far as we're concerned, our children deserve to witness a loving, kind, patient and everlasting love between us; true love (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).
To summarize, God is doing away with the counterfeit, and replacing it with Himself so the relationships I have with others are real, meaningful and bare good fruit. If you're in a similar place in life, I encourage you to simply pray. Ask for forgiveness where you've been hurtful towards others, ask Him into your heart to heal your brokenness then declare that you're relying on Him to develop your relationships into Godly partnerships. And, because God calls us to first seek His kingdom before all else, pray about this daily and be prepared that your whole world will shift. It's amazing!
1 August 2017: Trevor's 31st Birthday + Follow-Up Appointment with Dr. Friedman
Although we knew it would happen, it's a bummer to miss out on special days together. I love celebrating birthdays! Well, I should say, I love celebrating the people I love. So hence why I sent him a pretty-darn-cool-birthday/12-year-anniversary care package last week, but it still doesn't feel like enough. For those familiar with the book The Five Love Languages, one of my primary love languages is quality time so naturally, I wish I could give him my time in person.
Mom and I visited with Dr. Friedman to go over the baby's 20-week anatomy scan a few weeks back. However, for whatever reason, he wasn't able to pull-up the notes from my appointment but he said he had reviewed the scan and did not recall any issues or abnormalities. And really, if he had discovered anything he would have contacted me sooner. Even so, I'll follow-up with him again at our next appointment which will be towards the end of the month. We're supposed to discuss my "birth plan" at that appointment as well, which I don't really have one yet. Additionally, he encouraged me to pick a pediatrician so that's also something I need to start researching.
2 August 2017: Champ's Multiple Vet Visits + Round Ligament Pain
This past week was a little tough for me, emotionally and otherwise. My cat Champ has some sort of urinary issue again (common for male cats), and although he's only had this problem one other time in his 9 years, he's not recovering as fast this time around. I prayed for healing again last night and thankfully, for the first time in two and a half weeks, he didn't run in out of the litter box all night. It's hard on me to know that he's uncomfortable and in pain.
And then I spent a few days resting because my belly hurt so badly! This occurrence interfered with a few plans I made during the week to go hiking with some friends and walking with others. My belly is stretching, I get it. And some days the fatigue is pretty rough as well.
3 August 2017: Happy 12 Years Together, My Love! + FB Name Announcement
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5 August 2017: Enrollment in Online Natural Birth Course
Ever heard of Genevieve Holland aka Mama Natural on Youtube? I signed myself up for her online birth course and so far I've learned a lot! It's not that I'm against medical intervention (because, truth be told, I've always planned on getting an epidural), I'm simply interested in learning as many ways to cope with the pain of childbirth as I can. With Trevor being away, I want to soak up as much knowledge going into this delivery as possible. My intention is to learn practical strategies for managing pain so that I can best lead myself through the process, and help instruct my mom how to support me.
Week 22 Photos
Week 22 Updates
1. Size of the baby? Average baby size at 22
weeks is 10.9 inches long (from the crown of the head to the heel of the
foot) and 15.2 ounces, about the size of a coconut!
2. What's developing this week?
3. Current weight? 136. Up one pound from last week.
4. Movement? He loves to kick and move around until I start to film him. Somehow he knows mama's got the camera out! I was able to get a video of one kick this week, but I swear he kicks all the time until the camera is recording him. A few weeks ago I started singing to him and in between songs he moves a lot! He's either enjoying the singing or trying to kick me so I won't start up again. 😂
Top of screen/Left side of belly.
5. Sleep? It's been tough getting a good night's sleep because of Champie's issues. :( But aside from that, I've had some piriformis muscle pain on my right side that wakes me up occasionally. And my belly tends to hurt for a few minutes after I roll over from one side to the other.
6. Symptoms?
- Lower belly pain/round ligament pain is awful.
- Occasional nerve pain in pelvis.
- Feeling down/sad. Mostly at night.
- Some days I have a lot of energy then others I'm exhausted! The belly pain and exhaustion usually occur simultaneously.
- Foot cramps from hell. Need to increase my magnesium in-take.
- Noticing my sense of smell is starting to intensify.
- Belly is starting to feel heavier. It's harder to sit-up from a laying-down position.
7. Cravings and Aversions? I got nothin'. Eating meat again like I did pre-pregnancy.
8. Best moment this week? Trevie receiving his birthday box and Ashley feeling the baby kick, twice!
Notable Mentions:
Notable Mentions:
- Later in the week I began playing classical music for the baby.
- Every night before bed I flip through Trevor's voice-recorded storybook so the baby can hear his daddy's voice up close.
9. Prayer requests?
10. What are you looking forward to for next week? Not a whole lot is planned for this week but I'm working on those goals of mine and taking the online course.
- Please pray that God would continue to soothe Champ's pain and that he would recover soon. Please also pray that this won't ever be an issue for him again as I've switched him onto a urinary tract health diet.
- That my body would adapt and stretch well as the baby grows.
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