queline & company: 20 Weeks Old

Funny how I can't seem to get enough of this little baby.

As a new addition to our nightly routine, Trevor and I head back to the cabin and watch a few episodes of any random show on Netflix. Our favorites right now are The Last Man On Earth and House Hunters. Hanging out together after the baby's in bed is our time to rejuvenate, truly. Much like it was when we spoke after Trevor's work day while I was pregnant and he was deployed. We make an effort to discuss what was good about the day and go over our plans for the next. We're working hard to check to-do's off our lists in preparation for our upcoming trip to Colorado and the inevitable switch from Air Force National Guard to full-time Active Duty Air Force.

It's during these hours that I get a chance to blog and upload pictures. This blog means a lot to me and so it's important that I spend as much time as possible pouring into it before these short-term memories fade away.

However without fail, I'll suddenly miss the baby like crazy. An intense need to hold him comes over me with a flash and all of a sudden I feel a slight emptiness deep within me--like I've lost a piece of myself that makes me whole.

I'll carry on and write more. And then as I'm searching my phone for pictures from the week, I see him and I'm reminded of the smell of him. The sensation of what it feels like to kiss his forehead overwhelms me and I need him right then. But this little baby is still one heck of a good sleeper so my more rational self takes over and of course, I let him sleep.

And around 2 or 3 in the morning at the end of my long night, I crawl into bed adjacent to his bassinet and feel better being near him. If I'm particularly brave (most nights I'm not), I'll kiss him on his forehead and hurry myself under the covers and turn off the light from my phone as not to wake him. Most nights (or early mornings, rather) end with me tippy-toeing past his bed as I glance over his sleepy self wishing I could quench my longing to kiss him. To see him smile with his near-the-nose dimples he inherited from me.

Then a few hours later when he wakes up ready to nurse, I kick myself for not getting a few more hours of sleep the night before. 😂 Life is about balance, right? I'm still learning this lesson for myself, not always the easy way either.

11 April 2018: Coles Shopping @ Carter's (19w1d)
The three of us took way too long picking out outfits for David, Jacob and Madison, but it was fun!

And a cute dress for Madison!

People-watching 👀

Heeeeeeck yeah!

Picked up a water table. Something I've always looked forward to buying for our family.

12 April 2018: Matching Cousins (19w2d)
Having a boy cousin only eight and half months older means there will be plenty of matching outfits in David's future. David often gets a lot of Jacob's hand-me-downs, but finally they're wearing the same threads at the same time. They looked so cute! Anna and I enjoyed every second of it!

13 April 2018: (19w3d)

14 April 2018: Booked Our Tickets for Colorado! + Pursuit of Education Toys (19w4d)
David and I will be traveling with Trevor for his next drill weekend in Denver! We'll be staying an extra day just so we can drive to Fort Collins and celebrate my 30th birthday! We've missed Colorado. We're eager to take David to all of our favorite spots; Horsetooth Reservoir mainly. It'll be such a pleasure to spend some time in our newlywed mountain home. The state that cultivated the beginnings of our marriage, where we worked long hours and I earned my Bachelor's degree. Where Trevor enlisted in the Air Force National guard, where I committed my life to Jesus Christ and where we conceived our son, David. Colorado is our happy place.

Sleepy bubs!

Gross motor toys 👌

15 April 2018: Postpartum Spotting (19w5d)
On my way to being 5 months postpartum and for a few brief hours, I believed I had begun my first postpartum period. Aside from dealing with the nuances of a period, losing my milk supply concerned me-as the first postpartum period can, in some women, initiate a decrease in milk production. Luckily for me, this event went without cramps and the spotting ceased!