SIX Months Old

A repeat outfit from Week 25, I know.  But today is Memorial Day!

David's 6-Month Update

• At his 6-month appointment on 31 May 2018:
• Weight:  16.2lbs (22nd percentile)
• Length:  26.6inches (46th percentile)
• Head Circumference:  17.4inches (75th percentile)
• Shots:  DTaP, Hep B, Pneumococcal & Rotavirus 
• All-clear for starting solids, although we're waiting until June 10th.
• Usually spits up when seated (even hours after feeding).
• Occasionally tries to army crawl.
• One "fist of fury" as we like to call it.  He balls up his left hand and slams it down on any and everything.
• Hates it when his toy falls out of sight.
• Makes consonant sounds, sometimes says "yeah."  Much like he did when he was younger, he says mama, mom, and mommy.  Still achey and a little grouchy from his shots, we put him down for the night and he reached out towards me and yelped "mommy!"  Trevor was closest to him at the time as I was seated on the bed.  He's still so young so we're unsure if he fully understands the meaning of the word or if it's merely coincidental.  Either way, it makes Trevor and I jump every time we hear it.  
• Reaches out to be held.  
• Loves to twist and flip over during diaper changes and bathtime.  Because of this, he's "sitting" in his bathtub now (with our help).
• Can sit up unassisted for a few seconds before falling over. 
• Comfortable being on tummy for long stretches of time although prefers being on his back.
• Does "push-ups" as he fully extends his arms during tummy-time.
• Spends less time clasping his hands together as he's constantly using them to grab things.
• Has great trunk rotation and is well-balanced with his upper and lower limb simultaneous movement.
• Grabs his feet and sucks on his toes.  His hands are always in his mouth and if you let him, he'll eat your hands too.
• Loves to "stand" up while we hold him, laugh and babble.
• Breastfeeding is starting to hurt a bit as he twists and wiggles during sessions.  He unlatches quite often, seemingly to regain a gasp of air. We've reinstituted using the boppy and it has improved his latch.  Meanwhile, my left nipple is sore as heck!
• Responds to his name.
• Has a small droll rash under his chin, near his neck.  Dabbing scent-free wipies with water on the area and using aquaphor is our current method for treating it.
• Fits into size 3 diapers and wears 6-9month sleepers.
• Still sleeps well.  Takes naps during the day and sleeps about 10+ hours at night.
• Biggest pet-peeve still seems to be waiting the 5.6758 seconds it takes for mama to whip out the boob.  Other than that, he hates loud, unfamiliar noises.
• He doesn't cry very often so when he does, Trevor and I climb over each other to comfort him first.
• I love the various shades of colors in his eyes and hair.  At this moment, neither Trevor or I know for certain whether he'll have dark hair and eyes like us or inherit the lighter features of our parents.  
• Seems to enjoy listening to instrumental music and being read to.
• Loves to bounce on one knee, "sing" with mommy and soar through the air with daddy.
• Showing interest in food.  

Roll-away baby!

My stagehand.

Mommy's 6-month Postpartum Update

It's been awhile since mommy's had an update!  Let me tell you, trying to make time for myself (and Trevor) in between naps is rough.  There's simply not enough hours in a day.

So a bit about how I've been doing... 

Body

The past month or so I've focused on walking as my only form of exercise--which has been easy on my body and fun (as I get to walk and catch-up with friends).  But today, Trevor and I started my pre-bootcamp training routine and it's killer.  

Funny thing is aerobically speaking, I wasn't phased.  Definitely didn't get my heart rate up to where it needs to be and I didn't break a sweat.  However, my muscles were so weak!  Strength-wise... I have none.  🤣  This isn't the worst shape my body has been in but it's far from where I was pre-baby.  Good news is, I completed the whole workout and still felt good afterwards.

It'll take time, no big deal.  With a goal of breastfeeding until David's first birthday as my #1 goal, I'm unsure of how hard I want to push myself just yet.  He's my priority, everything else comes second.

The pain I experienced greatly reduced a little after five months postpartum and I'm definitely feeling more like myself.  Some mornings I wake up with a bit of tenderness when I sit up.  I've had occasional spotting but no official period as of yet.  Trevor and I have had one successful attempt at sex and it wasn't the most pleasant of encounters but eh, better than nothing?  Since then I haven't wanted to try again so maybe nothing is better.  🤣

Weight:  125lbs; +8lbs pre-pregnancy, -23lbs post-pregnancy.

Don't mind the dorky hairstyle 🤣 It's tough to pull my hair back after the recent cut.

And Trevor's joining me along on this fitness journey.  He weighs like, I dunno, 197lbs or something.  

Mind+Spirit

Over the past 6 months since David's birth (and a whole year since moving out West), I've been struggling mental-health wise.  It stands to reason hard times were inevitable with Trevor being away, missing the latter half of the pregnancy and the birth of our son--but it's not even just that.  It's the lack of independence that comes with moving back into one's family home.  It's the odd scenario of keeping myself and my newborn quiet so my brother doesn't freak out on us.  Not many folks would understand all the implications of our current situation, and I'm not fully comfortable sharing it anyway.  It's a negative experience--one I don't want to remember in the future.  But I had to at least share with all of you that this is what my life has been like this past year--and it sucks.  So at the very least, this is a placeholder to acknowledge the this experience instead of avoiding it.

I believe bouts of happiness and misery can coexist in some situations; and David's been my happiness during this time.  Friends and select family members have eased the burden for me too.  Now that Trevor's home, he's helped to lessen the tension in the house and I'm grateful for his strong, ever-loving presence with my brother.  He's so patient with him.  He's kind to John even when John is unbearable to my mom and I.  And, of course, the glory of the Lord shines through--as He ignites in me a confidence that my husband is a great partner to parent with.

The feeling of guilt has overwhelmed me as well.  I feel guilty for all the stress I'm under and how it changes me as a mama.  I feel guilty for not giving David as much tummy-time as I otherwise would have if the situation were different.  It's challenging to be in so much pain for so long while also being the sole caregiver and essentially, depressed.  This isn't an attempt to write a woe-is-me story--this is me vulnerably unveiling my life up until this point.

And, if you can imagine, there were times I cried out to God to help.  Most days, honestly, I was too tired to even think about praying as I was in a sort-of survival mode.  But God met me where I was at and filled me with joy and his Holy Spirit day after day after day after day, no joke!  I can say, without hesitation, my joy comes from the Lord.  Early selfies of David and I snuggling in bed together with a smile on my face--that's a genuine smile because our God is genuinely good.  He's genuinely there and always with us.  If not for His strength in those random, not-very-often, cries out to the Lord... not sure how much worse things would have been for me and my son. 

But those who trust in the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not grow weary; they will walk and not faint.

Isaiah 40:31

And I'll share one prayer moment which particularly stands out.  I felt God calling me to pray however, it was as if I wasn't yet ready.  Essentially, didn't want to.  I searched myself for answers, why wouldn't I pray, especially now?  And that's when God spoke--it's during the storm, not when it's over, that I will appreciate the fullness of His peace, and strengthen my faith as I walk with God.  Why would I sacrifice that moment just to bear the weight of the burden on my shoulders alone?  It's so tough to be still, quiet honestly.  And when the answers we need don't come soon enough, or aren't the ones we were hoping for, it's a challenge to find contentment right then.  What I'm learning is true peace, true love and true joy doesn't come from this world, people or situations.  And searching for it those areas will always leave us unfulfilled and yearning for more.

As a whole, there's been highs and lows.  My little boy is sincerely my heart... and he might even be my soul.  A mother's love is unlike any other love, no doubt.  Doesn't matter that I spend all day with him, covered in body fluids (that aren't even mine, mind you!), as soon as he's down for the night, I miss him.  Seeing his baby cheeks move and his little hand rest against my chest while he nurses is a special part of the day.  His long eyelashes cast over those sweet cheeks as his eyes close and it's the perfect time to study his face all over again, as if it's not the 10 millionth time.