3 Weeks Old

 

How special it is that our baby boy turns three weeks old on our 7-year wedding anniversary!  This year we've gifted each other a 3-week old baby boy.  Not sure how we'll ever be able to top this precious gift. 

I love this life.  Through the endless diaper changes and the countless middle-of-the-night feedings, I still love this life.  This little guy hates diaper changes.  Sometimes he doesn't cry during a cleaning but odds are he's screaming his little lungs out.  As I pick him up and place him into my arms, he stops crying.  What a joy it is to comfort my own baby.  I hold him close and kiss the top of his head, he knows me.  He knows I'm momma.

His little hands dance during nursing sessions.  Sabotage hands, as I like to call them.  He shoves his little fingers right in front of his mouth as I'm situating him at the boob.  He'll even disrupt his latch with those sneaky fingers and although it's a little frustrating at 2am to watch him fight with himself, I giggle as I take it all in.  I'm tired but this is fun.  Taking care of David is a joy unlike any other.  And like I said, I'm tired but make no mistake, I'm enjoying all of it.

He makes a little "o" with his lips and I melt every time!  I've been trying my best to capture it with my camera to no avail.  I'm not quick enough and the moment is fleeting.  It's like I'm continually reminded to be present and soak it all in.   With that said, it breaks my heart that Trevor is away and missing these little subtle details of his development.  He's missing holding him at this moment--and, if I could, I would give up many things for him to be home with us enjoying our son together.

Unquestionably, Trevor is upset to have to be away and miss the first few weeks of our son's life.  He's solid as a rock and works so hard to stay positive--and he really is!  And, of course, there's much to be excited and thankful for as we both know that.  It's just hard being separated, as you can imagine.  I hate that part of this story so. dang. much.

As far as Trevor goes, he is still very much involved.  He loves watching me cuddle, nurse and change D's diaper.  He's made a few requests of me.  He keeps asking if I'm speaking Spanish around the baby--to which I remind him I'm not fluent but he doesn't care.  He simply wants David exposed to the sound of different languages.  He's also requested for David and I to visit Santa at the mall and take a picture for him which we did on Tuesday.  Additionally, we both agree I should start reading to David regularly--add it into our routine.  So that'll be a new implementation for next week!

13 December 2017:  Shon + Lena Meet David!  (2w1d old)
For those who were curious about my expecting first-time-momma friend a few weeks back, here she is!  Identity revealed! 😂  Congratulations Lena!  We cannot wait to meet baby girl Page!

14 December 2017:  😠→🙂 (2w2d old)

 
15 December 2017:  David Hears Daddy (2w3d old)
David will occasionally turn his head towards the phone or tablet when I'm chatting with Trevor--it's so sweet!  And of course, this brings a huge smile of satisfaction to Trevie's face!  I first I figured the baby was simply responding to the light of the tablet but he also turns towards Trevor when we chat via phone (which causes the screen on my phone to turn black) so it's the real deal, folks.  David knows his daddy.

16 December 2017:  (2w4d old)

David LOVES this black and white fabric picture!

 A link for those who are interested in checking it out:  Manhattan Toy Company 

17 December 2017:  Blow-Out at Target (and I don't mean a good sale!) (2w5d old)
Clean up, aisle 2. Just kidding... The carrier and my left leg caught all of the damage.

Lovely...

All clean!

Post-Nastiness Nursing Session

18 December 2017:  (2w6d old)
This week while craddling him I fantasized how special it will be when David intentionally reaches for me.  When he gives kisses on the cheek and hugs me... On purpose.  Until then, I'm happy with the one-sided lovefest of ours.

19 December 2017:  Happy 7-Year Wedding Anniversary, Trev! + Santa Visit (3 weeks old)

Three-Week Postpartum Updates

Looking (and feeling) more bloated this week.

Body
Not that I didn't believe the nurses but as it turns out, I did tear in two places.  I finally palpated the other set of stitches on my left--Lord help me, hah!  At this point, just the stitches on the right side hurt throughout the day but excessive walking or crossing my legs causes pain to radiate from both sets.

I'm starting to enjoy breastfeeding as the initial latch is not as distressing as previous weeks.  

Oddly enough, my belly has been bloated and my abs hurt.  The pain level is nothing major but I've noticed my abdominal muscles are sore--as if I've completed a ton of sit-ups.  Although I felt muscle soreness during the first week postpartum, I find it odd that I'm experiencing more pain 3-weeks out. 

Weight:  134lbs.  (+17lbs pre-pregnancy; -14lbs end of pregnancy).

Mind + Spirit
This week has been an emotional one. 

One night in particular I broke down and cried.

We're fortunate enough to be able to chat at least once per day, although there have been times when we've had to go awhile without chatting.  The other night Trevor and I skyped as I changed the baby's diaper--Trevor adores watching me care for the baby which I find so endearing.

So I set up the camera so he could watch the diaper change and he just stared, almost longingly--never looking away.

And then I heard someone in the background call out, "Coles!" but Trevor didn't seem to notice.  And then it got louder.  He whipped his head around as if being snapped out of a trance.  Then he sighed deeply and told me he had to go.

I finished cleaning the baby all the while envisioning the depth of Trevor's yearning gaze.  Then I sat down, fed the baby and cried.