5 Weeks Old

Makeshift "D" for David.  I can dig it, Davey boy!

Daddy picked out this onesie after we found out we were having a boy!

2018, what?!  In just a few short months we'll celebrate a full year of weekly blogging on queline&company!  New Year's Resolutions aren't necessarily my thing each year but after becoming a mommy, a few ideas have come to mind.

Of course there's the stereotypical "exercise more" resolution I've added to my list.  With how much pain I'm experiencing since delivering David, I plan to wait 5 months (post-birth) to begin a pretty intense work out regime.  This was my go-to work-out routine while prepping for Air Force basic training and I gotta say, I gained strength rather quickly!  And that's what working out is mostly about for me--Obviously, everyone's different.  Not gonna lie, I aspire to simply open a jar of pickles without having to ask for help!  🤣  If I'm lying, I'm dying!

Beyond that, I intend to take better care of my skin (Think:  anti-aging, blah blah blah.  Might as well--I'm turning 30 this year!), read more books and get this, I want to be able to touch my toes by the end of the year.  Another silly but sad fact about me:  My legs are long and my torso is short, relatively speaking.  So I have trouble reaching my toes.  Along with exercising, I'll work on increasing flexibility.  If we share the exercise-more resolution in common, join me!  I'll be starting April 1st--no foolin!

As a family, our major goal is to budget effectively to save up for a house in four years (or less).  This is a long-term goal but we're super excited to set aside money for that big purchase!  We'll soon be opening a savings account for David as well.

27 December 2017:  David's 1st Real Smile at Mommy!  (4w1d old)
And it was the biggest, sweetest grin ever!  I walked into my mom's room to pick up David after taking my nightly shower (she sometimes babysits for me).  He turned his head toward me after hearing my voice and once we made eye contact he smiled!  And the smile lasted a few seconds which is different from his usual quick, post-nursing smirk!  He smiled once more at me later in the week.  What a joy it is to see that sweet, meaningful little grin!

Loose swaddle, I know.

28 December 2017:  David turns ONE Month Old! + 1 Month Pediatric Appointment (4w2d old)
If you're interested, check out David's One Month Update post where I discuss his appointment with the pediatrician.

There ought to be more weeks in a month.  Just doesn't feel right that my baby boy is already one month old.  If you figure out how to slow down time so I can keep him tiny for longer, please tell me how.  We'll gladly pay you in newborn snuggles!

He seemed to outgrow his newborn diapers and a few 0-3 month onesies overnight!  Initially I planned to use up the newborn diapers until I ran out but they seem a little tight on him and he's been having more blow-outs so I'm packing up the leftovers for baby #2.  Trevor and I acquired a ton of freebie newborn diapers (and a bunch of size one diapers too, actually) so adding those to the two 109 count Sam's Club boxes we bought ended up being more than enough.  Just as a note-to-self or the next baby, I'm thinking two boxes will be plenty.

Found a fist!

29 December 2017: (4w3d old)

30 December 2017:  Sleepless Night:  I'll Give You Anything, Anything, Anything! (4w4d old)
The baby and I seem to have a bit of a schedule for now--although staying up late to ring in the new year shifted it a bit.  Typically around 10:30 I'll change David's diaper, feed him, swaddle him up and place him in his bassinet for the night.  If he fusses I'll offer him a pacifier although most nights he's uninterested in it.  The vibration feature on the Halo bassinest has helped David fall asleep.  I intentionally select it only at bedtime so as not to develop mixed signals for him in the future.  After feedings he's pretty drowsy so he falls asleep fairly quickly most nights.

So far, here's our little routine (given that daytime is kind of a free-for-all):
10:30pm - Change, feed, swaddle + lay down in bassinet.
3:30am - David wakes up.  Change, feed, swaddle + lay down in bassinet.
7:30am - David wakes up.  Change, feed, swaddle + start the day.

Although this wasn't the case Saturday night.  He woke up randomly at 2am and after covering all of the bases (clean diaper, full belly, burped + warm & cozy), he was still awake!  Anytime I laid him down he cried--and for a few minutes I let him cry but baby boy just wanted to be held.  There was no denying it.  And usually I adore cuddling him but a few hours later I was exhausted and downright frustrated.  No wonder sleep deprivation is used as a torture method!

It's not always easy to initially get out of bed but I don't mind the middle-of-the-night diaper changes.  I enjoy watching his little cheeks wiggle as he nurses--even in the early, early morning before the sun rises.  I enjoy it all.

But Saturday night, I didn't enjoy it and I hate that I felt frustrated with him.  This boy had me singing select lyrics from Dramarama's song "Anything, Anything."  Ever heard of it?

"Oh gee, what is it tonight?  Please just tell me what the hell is wrong.  Do you wanna eat?  Do you wanna sleep? Just settle down, settle down, settle down.  I'll give you candy (not yet), give you diamonds (not really), give you pills (no again).  I'll give you anything you want!  Hundred dollar bills!"  

David is a blessing and I never want to take him for granted but it's okay to feel frustrated with your situation and/or your child.  It's normal, it's natural... we're only human.  Albeit, sleep-deprivated-with-chafed-nipples-and-a-torn-vagina kind of human.  A thank-you is owed to my supportive mommy-friends who normalized this feeling for me.

31 December 2017:  New Year's Eve + Searching For Answers (4w5d old)
As the year came to a close, I felt a bit at a loss.  As you may recall, a few weeks before David's birth I felt the Lord prompt to pray for Trevor come home ahead of schedule.  Then for a few days it looked as if it might happen--I was ecstatic!  His unit commander agreed to send him home then ultimately reneged and notified Trevor's superior that no one was to leave early.  And at this point it seems he might be extended although I can't explain much more than that.  And quite honestly, I don't know much more than that.

While feeling confused I spent time with God thanking him that Trevor's superiors even considered sending him home early but also asking, why?  Why didn't it work out?  Especially when we seemed to have the Lord's blessing.  Then I felt God encourage me... just wait.

So I'm letting it go and trusting that the world's rejection is God's protection.  Although at surface value this isn't what we wanted, we're grateful because we know the Lord is for us.

What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?

Romans 8:31

It may not make sense to others and it doesn't have to but that's where I'm at.  I'm gladly choosing to rest in the faithful, loving arms of Jesus and all that matters is Trevor's safe return home--whenever that may be.  I keep praying for sooner rather than later!

Right before our NY's kiss!

1 January 2018:  New Year's Kisses & Hugs, Morning Snuggles + Park Outing with Family (4w6d old)
When the clock struck midnight Trevor and I blew a kiss to each other via skype, mom and I hugged then I kissed my little sleeping baby on his cheek.  No doubt this New Year's kiss is my most memorable yet!

With the news of Trevor's possible deployment extension, I bought an infant seat.  Months ago we were gifted the Graco Extend2Fit convertible carseat and I vowed not to buy an infant seat to save money and because babies can grow out of them rather quickly, I saw it as a bit unnecessary.  However, after Trevor learned that David wakes up a lot while I run errands (due to being pulled out of his car seat often), he encouraged me to get one.  The possibility of Trevor's deployment extension sealed the deal as I envisioned myself buying a one-way ticket to Denver to see him as soon as possible.  Breaks my heart to think of waiting any longer than we have to.

Looking like daddy.

Happy New Year!

Pre-park snuggles

This picture is a new favorite of mine.

2 January 2018: Five Weeks Old! 

David was crying until he heard daddy's voice

5 Week Postpartum Updates

Whenever I post these frontal pictures I laugh at how obviously larger one boob is.

Body
I wish I could say the pain is over with but it's not.  If I'm too active during the day I pay for it later on.  After David's 1 month check-up, I made a last-minute appointment with Dr. Friedman.  Things are healing well but man, I'm in a lot of pain some days.  I'm grateful to have had a super speedy labor but I wish I hadn't torn.

My back has been achy.

I've noticed I sweat while nursing.

When I walk on uneven terrain my right hip pops.

Weight:  128.  (+11lbs pre-pregnancy; -20lbs end of pregnancy).

Mind + Spirit
Overall I'm just going with the flow--enjoying my little newborn baby.  My nightly showers are my "me-time" and I can't skip it.  When my mom isn't able to watch David I set up his rocker in the bathroom so I can quickly rinse off.  It's that important to me.  Of course, it's much more enjoyable when I don't have to keep a constant eye on him but ya gotta do what ya gotta do!

I've been daydreaming about getting a pedicure and a foot massage.  Gotta admit, I'm not the type to get pedicures often although probably should as I wear sandals a lot!  I planned to get one during my 38th week of pregnancy but you remember how that turned out...